ARGUING WITH THE INTERNET

It doesn’t take much to set me off. Yesterday it was a woman who told me I was privileged to have an audience that wants to help me. It all stemmed from a story I posted about my neighbors dog destroying my favorite vintage fanny pack - and me tagging the designer asking if they had an old one lying around.

My dms were flooded with people saying “just replace the strap” and a few other “solutions” to which i replied “i love you all but you don’t need to solve my problems - sometimes I’m just posting to pos” and the truth is - i was just venting. This woman did not like that. She said:  

“Most of us don't have the privilege of strangers offering to help for any reason, big or small. I'm calling bullshit on your '...sometimes I'm just sharing...'response. Did you think creating a post in which you:  lament the destruction of your old bag, [complete with tearful emoji,] call out your landlord (however subtly,) & not-so-subtly @mention Rebecca Minkoff, would NOT invite well-meaning followers to send suggestions?  No, but you were soliciting Rebecca Minkoff for a replacement bag, as if she has them lying around, & if she did, & contacted you to tell you, would you be buying it, though you stated you felt that even the cost of a replacement strap was "expensive"?

My blood started boiling. It’s amazing how i can let a complete stranger set me off but I suppose it’s all based on the idea of being misunderstood which is something i truly hate. But being misunderstood on the internet is kind of par for the course. Most people would say just delete it or block them but I’m not really that kind of gal. I want people to understand where I’m coming from even when it’s a joke but the truth is my kind social media personna sometimes wants to lash out so deeply i have to stop myself.

Sometimes we’re all just looking for someone to listen to us. To shake your head in agreement. To just say : I feel you. I see you. I get you.

This is one of the hardest parts of my social media journey and one of the biggest lessons I’m trying to learn. Do i really need to be understood by a stranger? Does someone “not getting me” matter? I wish it didn’t but i do connect with the people who follow me. I may not have expected this odd journey I’m on but now that I’m here I try to respect the people who are part of my community - and while some messages can just be brushed off - others cut deep. I’ll take the criticism over being the person on the other end angrily typing to a stranger they expect so much from. But I’m human.

I wonder how all of this will roll out years from now with so many people now becoming content creators. I was an unemployed writer looking for an outlet and I found that outlet in my bra and underwear in my bathroom - or now - about five bathrooms. I get dressed and tell stories and while I’m sometimes so proud that so many have come to listen for the last two and a half years I’m also constantly wondering how and why I’m here.

I can’t wait to see what it all means.