HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEAN

 I wrote this when I turned 50. 14 years later - it still rings pretty true.

“Let’s face it. You’re on the downside of life now,” a friend said to me on my 50^th birthday. “You’re basically just careening to the end.” I stabbed him with a fork. Then I went out and bought some new shoes.

If you’re one of those women prancing around shouting that 50 is the new 30, then you need to cut back on the scotch. The only thing 50 is – is 50. If you’re lucky, you’re halfway through your life. If you’re not – well, you may keel over halfway through this piece.

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